If I become a known artist, I know for sure that my works will only be appreciated when i'm dead.
Being an artist is a beautiful world to live in. Artists can see the beauty on little things. Artists can see the beauty in a mundane day to day life. Artists can see beauty in pain and suffering.
However, being an artist is also a curse. Artists can uncontrollably oversee anything making life overwhelming to live with. Artists oversee themselves and everyone around them. Artists are always lost inside their minds, buried in all the deep thoughts that go through. A lot of artists are slaves to their mind, needing to do things with perfection to please their restless brain.
Some artists we all know and appreciate today used to live with their unsatisfied minds all their lives. Van Gogh who definitely has no idea how much his paintings are appreciated by people when he's gone. Franz Khafka who passed away believing he was a failed writer but now his writings are loved by many. In a way, I understand how they feel. I myself have no control over my mind. It doesn't matter if other people liked the works i've made, if my mind said it's trash, then it's trash. I don't need validation from people, I need validation from my own mind. And i'm afraid I will never see my worth for the rest of my existence. Sometimes, I just wish that I see myself the way other people does.
Sometimes I wonder why some artists are underappreciated while they're still living, and only valued when they have already passed away. Perhaps, their works were ahead of, not only their time, but of themselves as well.